Author Archives: Jodi Rubin, ACSW, LCSW

About Jodi Rubin, ACSW, LCSW

Jodi graduated with a B.A. in Psychology from SUNY at New Paltz and earned her Master’s degree in Social Work from New York University. In addition to over a decade of work as an LCSW with individuals, families and groups in her private practice, Jodi created Destructively Fit™, a training that addresses eating disorders within the fitness industry. She is a former director of Day Treatment at The Renfrew Center for Eating Disorders and a founding member of Metropolitan Psychotherapy and Family Counseling Practice. Jodi is the creator of a curriculum on eating disorders for the Graduate School of Social Work at New York University and has been teaching this course, as well as guest lecturing in the NYU Post-Master’s Program, for the past many years. Jodi is a contributor to We Are The Real Deal and actively lectures and teaches students, families and professionals throughout the metropolitan area about the etiology, prevention, treatment, assessment and work with eating disorders. Through psychotherapy and supportive work with adolescents, adults and families, Jodi works to create a secure sense of self, increased self-esteem and a healthy relationship with self and others. She works with an eclectic person-centered approach and tailors her practice techniques to the unique needs of each individual. Please feel free to contact Jodi directly in her Greenwich Village office, 212.529.5811.

the struggle for control

IMG_1661

Control. People struggle to get control, to keep control, and conversely, people also struggle to let it go. But here’s the thing, It’s all been an illusion. You never really had it to begin with! That’s the good and the bad news. The bad news because there have been times when we’ve all wished we had more control. As for the good news, consider this: What if you actually did have absolute control over everything in your life? Imagine the responsibility and pressure it would bring. It would be too much for anyone to handle.

The reality is that we have very little control over most things. Yep, it’s true. What you can control is how you move through what life throws at you. So what now? For starters, you can stop trying so hard! Let go and reclaim some of the energy that was hemorrhaging into your struggle for control. Redirect it towards being in the present moment and doing the best you can with what you have in front of you.

It may be scary to consider this shift in thinking but if you give it a try, I’m confident that in time you will experience a sense of relief and empowerment.


teaching nutrition in school

by guest blogger Laura Cipullo, RD, CDE, of Mom Dishes It Out!

Like so many things affecting their children, parents tend to disagree on whether sex, sexual orientation or religion should be taught in school. Well, this mom (and an RD) often wonders if nutrition should be taught in school.

Teachers are not experts in nutrition nor are they educated about pediatric or adult nutrition as part of their college curriculums. Yet, many classroom teachers are giving lessons on “calories, good and bad foods, and even having students log their foods to see why they are so fat.” And I’m not making this stuff up. My client’s mother recently told me exactly what her daughter’s teacher had said to the class. If you’ve been reading my blogs regularly, you’ll easily imagine that at this point my nails are, at least figuratively, scratching the chalkboard!

Stop! Hold on just a minute! Do we even realize that these kinds of discussions and activities help create little food police and body dysmorphia? Moms, dads, teachers and kids: Do you know how many calories you burn in 24 hours? In 168 hours? Do teachers know how many calories kids are burning…especially since every kid hits puberty at a slightly different age? We typically do not know these answers; nor should we be obsessing with them. Also, do we really know if the calories on a package are correct? News flash: They are not being regulated and/or checked for accuracy! So why are we relying so heavily on these external measures? Be cautious and recognize that this black and white/all or none mindset is an unhealthy one. Instead, think about using an internal regulation system and try eating nutrient dense foods the majority of the time.

Most importantly, please know that foods are not “good” or “bad.” How can food be a moral issue? When you teach your children or your students that a particular food is “bad,” think about how they’ll feel if they eat the food. That’s right. They’ll not only feel bad and guilty; they’ll also probably start to hide these foods. Instead, try to make all foods neutral. For example, teach children that milk is milk. It’s a dairy product that is high in calcium and protein and comes from cows. Broccoli is a food that grows up from the ground and helps our bodies fight getting sick. Because foods vary in nutrient density, our bodies and kids’ growing bodies need certain foods more often to meet specific demands. You can describe each food’s nutrient density or just call them “everyday” foods or “sometimes” foods as described in my book, The Mommy Manual’s Healthy Habits.

And why are some adults teaching kids to identify how “fat” they are? Our children are already being bullied by their peers…and now they’re learning to tell themselves how bad they are! I say this because our society (not me personally) continually states (overtly or covertly) that “fat” is “bad”! Why don’t we teach children how healthy they are or how special they are?

Even First Lady Michelle Obama is singing this new tune. She has been quoted saying she does not discuss weight with her daughters, nor does she weigh them.

So, why not use something like what the children’s nutrition tracker calls “An Apple A Day”; it motivates our youngsters to eat their veggies and be active. My boys love this tool and have actually turned eating and being healthy into a friendly competition.

Meanwhile, it’s not just one misguided teacher who shares this “good” and “bad” food misinformation. Even one of my son’s teachers labels certain foods as “treats.” I have told my son I will no longer acknowledge this word as it indicates something special. For example, ice cream is a snack choice, not a special reward. The point here is that nutrition is a sensitive issue…especially in my world where I am privy to the teary-eyed triggers that influence the development of eating disorders. And yes, binge eating is an eating disorder. Most adults don’t have their own nutrition needs in order, so it’s particularly scary to me as a mom (and as an RD who cares about her clients) that nutrition education is being taught without regard to both biology and psychology.

I know…quit my yapping and do something! Right? Well I did…and I continue to do! First, I’ve educated my sons’ school on appropriate food language and they’ve made this information part of their Health and Wellness Curriculum. I recently planted strawberries with the students and talk food and nutrition with them on a regular basis. Second, and on a much greater scale, I’ve finally finished my 8-week plan for creating healthy habits for children. The complete program is available to download. Moms, dads and teachers alike can use this book for lesson plans and nutrition education on subjects such as what carbohydrates are or what qualifies as an “everyday” food. In short, teachers can teach about nutrition but should consider using a positive approach and promoting things kids can do rather than what they shouldn’t be doing. For instance, my sons’ school just made pancakes with blueberries and did a “dairy study”. The result: My picky boys came home eating blueberries and having tried goat’s milk. Now that’s what I call a beautiful educational experience!

So what do you think? Is nutrition education appropriate for school?

What positive programs are your schools implementing?

Would you like to share your nutrition education success?


stop worrying, it’s not going to help you!

IMG_1649

If you think that you might have something to worry about, don’t.

Karl A. Pillemer, Ph.D. recently blogged about a surprising finding in The Huffington Post. He created the Legacy Project in order to find out what elderly people knew that younger generations didn’t. He and his team asked 1,200 men and women over the age of 70, “What are the most important lessons you have learned over the course of your life?” Answers consistently addressed time spent on worrying.

Pillemer shares some of the sentiments in his blog:
I wish I hadn’t spent so much of my life worrying.”
Don’t believe that worrying will solve or help anything. It won’t. So stop it.”

I recently heard someone say that, “worrying is like praying for what you don’t want.”

Truth be told, this seems universally easier said than done. Perhaps it’s no coincidence that one of Pillemer’s recurrent answers to his Legacy Project question reflects the tremendous amount of time and energy people feel they’ve wasted on worry over the course of their life.

So what can we learn? When we feel our wheels turning (and turning and turning and turning…) and the worry begins, we can use this as a reminder that worry doesn’t actually solve anything. It won’t get you to an unknown answer more quickly and it won’t help you prepare for what is ahead. Don’t waste your time dwelling and when you feel your marble rolling in that direction, stop it! Make an active, conscious choice to reframe your thoughts and focus more on what you do have control over. And if you don’t have much control in the situation at hand, then acknowledge that you are in a difficult place and try to sit with it. But don’t worry! It won’t help you!


registration is open!!!

DF Banner

DID YOU KNOW that an estimated 90-95% of college students diagnosed with eating disorders belong to a gym (McLean Hospital)? This statistic seems to transcend college years.

Fitness professionals! What would you do if you suspected your client was struggling with an eating disorder?

Gym managers! How do you handle eating disorders within your club?

It is possible to address this ubiquitous issue sensitively and effectively so long as you have the confidence and knowledge to do so.

DESTRUCTIVELY FIT™ demystifies eating disorders for fitness professionals. This 3-hour training is endorsed for continuing education by both NASM and ACE. Registration is open! REGISTER HERE!


raising kids after having an eating disorder

Raising Kids After Having an Eating Disorder
How to help children develop a healthy relationship to food
by Jodi Rubin, ACSW, LCSW

(reprinted with permission from Seleni Institute, a nonprofit organization based in New York City that provides care, information and research support central to women’s reproductive and maternal mental health and well-being.)

Many women (and men) who have struggled with an eating disorder worry their children may be more prone to developing the condition. Research shows that heredity does play a role in anorexia nervosa and that genetic factors may influence the likelihood of developing other eating disorders. But there is no single cause, and elements from psychology to family environment and society at large are all factors.

The good news is that because you have personally gone through this struggle, you are more likely to notice the early signs and symptoms that others might overlook. In fact, if you’re recovered, you’re also more likely to have a healthy relationship with your body and a more balanced relationship with food. This will help buffer your child from external messages and cultivate healthy self-esteem.

We know that kids – especially girls – face great pressure from an early age to watch what they eat, no matter what their family history with eating disorders.

  • More than 40 percent of girls in first through third grade want to be thinner.
  • More than half of 9- to 10-year-old girls feel better about themselves when they are dieting.
  • An estimated 11 percent of high school students have been diagnosed with an eating disorder.
  • Almost one-third of teenage boys engage in unhealthy and dangerous behaviors to control their weight and the size of their body. This includes skipping meals, refusing to eat, smoking cigarettes, vomiting, and taking laxatives.

What parents can do

Be a role model.
Send your children healthy messages about food and bodies. Children pay attention to everything you do. If you are critical of yourself and your body, they will believe that is appropriate. But if you are loving and accepting of yourself and your body, they will learn that this is appropriate. Avoid judging or talking negatively about your body (or anyone else’s). Mention the things you like about yourself and your body. Work toward creating an atmosphere of acceptance.

Ditch food rules.
Avoid diets and try not to categorize foods as “good” or “bad.” Don’t teach children to compensate for having dessert by saying you will just have a salad so you can order dessert, for example. Instead, focus on balance and moderation when eating all kinds of foods – including treats.

Raise critical thinkers.
The average American is exposed to more than 3,000 advertising messages every day. Talk to your child about what she sees. Look at advertisements together and ask her what she thinks the advertisers’ message is. Ask your child how these messages make her feel and if she agrees with them. Explain that most photographs are airbrushed, and it’s ok to enjoy these photos as long as she realizes they aren’t accurate representations of real people.

Be a buffer.
Provide alternatives to the negative messages that your child will inevitably receive out in the world. Help her focus on other ways to feel good about herself, such as taking pride in being a caring person and a good friend. Praising your child for who she is as a person reinforces these values and helps to build a strong internal sense of self – one that won’t be measured by the size and shape of her body.

Common signs and symptoms of eating disorders include:

  • Extreme shifts in weight
  • Using bathroom frequently after meals (to purge)
  • No longer menstruating
  • Distorted body image
  • Significant body dissatisfaction
  • Obsession with food, weight, and body image
  • Intense fear of gaining weight
  • Preoccupation with food and exercise
  • Loss of interest in activities that were previously enjoyable
  • Increased isolation
  • Mood swings
  • Depression, anger, or anxiety
  • Low tolerance for frustration
  • All-or-nothing thinking (believing nothing is good enough unless it’s perfect)

If you are concerned about your child’s relationship to food or her body:

Trust your instincts. You know your child. If you think something feels “off,” you’re probably right. She may not have crossed the line into disordered eating, but you are more acutely aware of the early signs because you’ve been there.

Talk to your child. Open the conversation by sharing what you notice and what concerns you. Approaching this issue sensitively, compassionately, and without judgment shows your child that you can be there for her in a safe way.

Get support. Reach out to a professional for support and guidance. The National Eating Disorder Association and the Eating Disorder Referral and Information Center are two trusted resources that can help you find support in your area.

Finally, if you feel you need to address some of these issues for yourself, or if you find yourself becoming overly concerned with what your child eats or how her body looks, it might be useful for you to consult with a professional as well.


we should aspire to be more like wolves

IMG_0020

I recently had the opportunity to experience the work of Wolf Connection. Teo Alfero created this empowerment program using wolves, knowing that we have a lot to learn from these guys! Part of their mission is, through an interactive experience with the wolves, to build “self-esteem, encourage personal growth and spiritual awareness.”

IMG_1652

Teo handed out his “Wolf Principles©” which gave everyone pause for thought (taken directly from above):
* Wolves are totally OK with who they are… ALWAYS!!
* And in order to be OK with who they are, Wolves know who they are first.
* Wolves give 150% to everything they do, so they choose carefully what they agree to do.
* Wolves communicate effectively … they keep it honest and real.
* Wolves are not worried about how they look or what others think.
* Wolves mate for life so their bond with each other and the pack is sacred.
* Wolves collaborate and work together … they know that together they will succeed.
* Wolves understand the power of diversity and celebrate being different.
* Wolves use each individual’s gifts and talents for the benefit of all.
* Wolves know how to lead and how to follow. You can’t lead if you don’t know how to follow.
* Wolves don’t blame others, they own their part without giving their power away.
* Wolves deal with all situations in their lives and MOVE ON!
* Wolves let go of the past and make room for new things in their lives.
* Wolves “Update the Files” Constantly … the deal with what’s in front of them each time.
* Wolves understand that they are a part of everything around them.
* Wolves are gentle with the environment.
* Wolves explore ALL THE TIME … they don’t come with judgments and pre-conceived ideas.
* Wolves are ALWAYS open to learn new things.
* Wolves are ALWAYS aware of their environment and seek balance with everything there is.
* Wolves respect and honor their bodies … they know that without a healthy and capable body, they are nothing.
* Wolves are into being, not into doing.

Take a quiet moment to reflect upon these ”Wolf Principles©” and consider which you feel are important, which you may struggle with and why. What can you do to focus more on your continued self-growth? 


say it isn’t so!

Is it true that you haven’t connected with me and Destructively Fit™ on Twitter and Facebook yet? There’s good stuff on the horizon so stay in touch and don’t miss out!

WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?
GO GET IT!

 


how do you define beauty?

089 La Paz Butterfly 15

Merriam-Webster defines beauty as “the quality or aggregate of qualities in a person or thing that gives pleasure to the senses or pleasurably exalts the mind or spirit.”

Pythagoras and Euclid attribute beauty to the geometric concept of the Golden Ratio (a+b is to a as a is to b). Science has even backed up the idea that this physical symmetry seems to be more attractive. But what does that mean, anyway?

So what really defines beauty? The good news is that it’s totally up to you! YOU define beauty. YOU decide!

How do YOU define beauty?
Do you define beauty by physical attributes that you have very little control over?
the size of your jeans?
the color of your hair?
the number on your scale?
your age?
your height?

Or do you define beauty by inherent characteristics?
how you carry yourself?
your morals?
your values?
your personal ethos?
your confidence?
your energy?
your character?

Consider what you find beautiful in and about others and what makes you feel beautiful. Are these things that you notice and value every day? How much do you focus on physical attributes? How much do you focus on inherent characteristics? What would it be like to focus more on who you are as a person (your innate awesomeness) rather than focusing upon your external appearance? How would that shift your relationship with yourself? How would it change the ways in which you interact with others and move through the world? Perhaps it’s worth experimenting with. Spend a day or spend a week making this conscious shift. What do you notice? How do you feel about yourself?

In the meantime, I want to know… how do YOU define beauty?


what do you think about these mannequins?

Swedish department store “Åhlens” made a splash when they brought out curvy, natural looking mannequins! (see here for photo). “Awesome,” “It’s about time,” and “Finally!” were only a few of the positive reactions that have been buzzing around the internet. Thank you for keeping it real!

What do YOU think?


Destructively Fit™: exciting news!

destructively-fit-logo-

The response to Destructively Fit™ has been incredible. I am beyond grateful for the support I have received and extraordinarily excited to continue bringing my Destructively Fit™ training to fitness facilities and individual trainers across the nation!

Here’s a recent piece published by Well + Good NYC. For more goodies, check out Destructively Fit™ In The News!

In other exciting news, Destructively Fit™ will be offered at the March 2014 ECA World Fitness Conference, so mark your calendars!

Keep up to date on trainings and informed about fitness and eating disorders (or just show a little love + support!) by connecting with Destructively Fit™ on Twitter and Facebook! Hope to see you there!


Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 106 other followers